A Silver Lining

Between yesterday and today, I'm up another $5! There may still be hope. Actually, these most recent winnings guarantees that either Matt, Nate, or Sarah (depending on who the closest bidder is at the end of all these shenanigans) makes back their initial investment, plus a $1 gain. Not bad, not bad at all. And of course I'm still quite convinced that I've got a big win coming my way any day now. I still have six days left of my little experiment to strike it rich. Wish me luck!

I think Quincy is dreaming of fancy kibbles...

Total Spent: $24
Total Won: 7 Tickets + $11

I'm Starting to Think This Could Be a Scam

So far Chicago has not proved itself to be a profitable place to play the lotto. Two days in this city and no big money. Although you might think that there's not much to scratch tickets, thus far, Chicago has the most satisfying scratchers I've encountered. The games yield the best suspense. When you've scratched as many lottery tickets as I have in the past month, you come to realize there a many fine nuances to scratch tickets. Some are just clearly more fun than others.

This is staged. I don't condone littering.

Total Spent: $21
Total Won: 7 Tickets + $6

Nope, Nope and Nope.

From the title of this post you can probably venture to guess that the last three days yielded very little. I won an extra ticket yesterday, but that's it. I'm only two-thirds through this little experiment of mine, but I better start winning some serious cash soon. Matt and I landed in Chicago tonight (we're spending the week with Brad and Amy!), so perhaps the Illinois State Lottery will energize my winnings a bit.

Total Spent: $19
Total Won: 7 Tickets + $6

Weekend Lotto

So Friday, Saturday, and Sunday resulted in winning 2 extra tickets, but still no more cold, hard cash. One thing worth mentioning is just how darn friendly all the gas station attendants usually are. Everyone of them wishes me good luck when I buy my daily ticket. My favorite guy will sometimes even hold the ticket I just bought up to his ear and shake it a bit, telling me it's very lucky before handing it to me. Maybe he's listening for that familiar rustle of all the dollar bills hidden within the card. Hmmmm...not sure what to make of that. It makes things interesting, at least.

I can't decide if I'm becoming addicted yet or not. It is rather disappointing losing all the time. That could keep me from making it a permanent fixture in my daily routine. We'll just have to wait and see.



Total Spent: $16
Total Won: 6 Tickets + $6

Wednesday and Thursday

I still haven't hit the jackpot, but I have hope that it's looming out there, achievably within my grasp. I predict I'll win $50 tomorrow.

Total Spent: $13
Total Won: 4 Tickets + $6

Hips

It's necessary that I start this post with a bit of background information. Upon our first visit back to the states after moving to Hong Kong (last April, to give you some time reference), I was excited to hear what was playing on American Top 40 radio stations. I felt so out of the loop, not knowing the most recent Kelly Clarkson or Britney Spears release. One of the little gems I heard, contained a ridiculous chorus that went something like:

(Growly Male Voice with crap-tastic rap in the background): "If a girl's hot, you know she's hot, 'cause she's hot just like her mama....If a girl's hot you know she's hot--she's hot just like her mama..." "Where'd you get your hot, hot looks?"

(Whiny Female Voice with the crap-tastic rap continuing in the background): "I got them from my mama... I got them from my mama..."

Needless to say, it was bad. Really, really bad. So bad it was hilarious.

So, with that little bit of nonsense out of the way, today I went to the corner store to get my daily lottery ticket, and upon entering the shop, I got thoroughly looked up and down by a visibly inebriated man in the process of buying a large bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Blippss....," I heard him mutter.

I looked him straight in the eye, and gave him a clear look implying that if he had something to say regarding my body, he better say it straight to me.

"Hips," I heard him say a little more clearly. "You got nice hips, lady."

Without hesitation and perfectly straight-faced, I declared, "I got them from my mama."

It took everything in my power not to bust a smile. The station attendant was cracking-up, though, so maybe he got the reference.

I was going to track down the video online and post it here, but I don't think it's crabby-rangoon appropriate. I'll let you fine folks hunt it down yourself. It's sure to be a classic someday. An oldie, but a goody, for sure.

***--------Ok, folks, forgive me. After I finished this post I went and looked up the video, and decided it was too funny not to post. SO, here it is in all it's glory. Again, please forgive me for subjecting you to this music video. And, PLEASE NOTE--viewer discretion advised. It's really, really stupid. Don't say I didn't warn you.--------***

Nope.

No big money came my way today.

Total Spent: $11
Total Won: 4 Tickets + $6

I'm On My Way

Today I won an extra ticket and THEN $2 with my bonus ticket! Slowly, but surely, I'm gonna win my millions.

Total Spent: $10
Total Won: 4 Tickets + $6

Saturday and Sunday

No luck over the weekend much to my chagrin.

Total Spent: $9
Total Won: 3 Tickets + $4

I'm In The Money

Today I won both a second ticket AND...



$4 Smackaroos! Who needs Vegas when you've got the California State Lottery?! My winnings are going straight into the freezer 'til the end of the month.


Total Spent: $7
Total Won: 3 Tickets + $4

Zip

A net gain of ZERO today. I did win a second ticket, but to no avail. It's still early, though. I foresee a big finish. It would be highly anti-climactic if I won the big bucks too early in the game.

Total Spent: $6
Total Won: 2 Tickets + $0


(Hopefully you all aren't bored to tears yet. I figured this would be a sure-fire way to get me blogging on a daily basis again. So far so good...)

I'm Beginning to See a Pattern

Today...


was not a winner. Sorry to be so darn predictable.

Total Spent: $5
Total Won: 1 Ticket + $0

Nope

Today...

was not a winner. Can't say I'm all that surprised.

Total Spent: $4
Total Won: 1 Ticket + $0

Small Success

So I'm wondering if this little experiment of mine will have lasting adverse effects. At first I thought it might cure me of my lottery love once and for all (by making a chore out of it), but I'm thinking that it might do the opposite and leave me addicted for life. Isn't there some kind of old saying that states "to make a habit for life, you have to keep at it for at least two weeks straight..." or something like that. This could spell trouble.

Today I had mixed results. I won a second ticket, but no cash yet. I was only 1 scratch away from winning $1,000 buckaroos. I guess that's how they keep you coming back for more, eh?

Total Spent: $3
Total Won: 1 ticket + $0

30 Days of Lottery Love

I love lottery tickets. I love, love, love them. They definitely rank up there with beauty pageants, Mexican radio stations, vacuuming, and corn dogs. The scratch-off variety in particular is my favorite. I know they're often referred to as a "poor man's tax" and we've all been preached to at some point in our lives about the pure waste of money that lottery tickets are, but I've often wondered if this is completely true or not. For some time now I've been cooking up the idea of a month-long experiment where I buy a $1 scratch-off lottery ticket each day and track my winnings and losses. So last night over dinner with Nate, Sarah and Matt, I was again expressing my innate love for lottery tickets and pondering a potential experiment, when Nate suggested something brilliant.

He, Sarah, and Matt should each pay in $10 to fund my lottery experiment. At the beginning of the month, each contributor would write down just how much money they expected me to win (or lose) over the course of 1 month, and at the end of that month, the person guessing the amount closest to the actual winnings would then win all the money. And I would get the pure and complete pleasure of purchasing and scratching-off tickets every day for an entire month! (And with any luck, Matt would win the cash and I would get to share the winnings.) Ideally, there will actually be money to win at the end of the month. I'm ridiculously optimistic and suggested that Matt guess $325 or higher. Nate is very mathematical about it and was closely considering the odds involved. I think his guess will be approximately $3.50. Sarah is a wildcard. For emphasis, I had each of them write their guess down on a piece of paper and seal it in an envelope, which I am keeping in our freezer until the end of the month. (Gets them thinking about all that "cold, hard cash" they could win 30 days from now.)

There are some basic rules:

I purchase 1 lottery ticket each day.
I play that ticket until it is finished. For example, if I scratch off my card only to win another ticket, I immediately trade it in for a second ticket, and so on, until I either leave with cash or nothing at all. If I win cash, I take it home and stick it in a jar, not to be touched until the end of the month when the grand total is revealed and all that cold, hard cash is doled out to that lucky someone.

That's about it. Very straight forward. Can't wait to watch the cash come flowing in.

Today...
...was not a big win.

Total Spent: $2

Total Won: $0

And So It Begins...

One lottery ticket every day for a month. Holy Moley, I can't wait! Details to follow...

Did I win today?

Sadly, no. Better luck tomorrow, perhaps.

Total spent: $1
Total won: $0

All Grow'd Up

At about 11:15pm tonight, a few of us decided to call up AVIS and rent a fabulous minivan and spend all day tomorrow tooling around Mexico. I feel like such a grown-up! It's like that moment in college when you're sitting in front of the TV with your feet propped up on the coffee table, a spoonful of Lucky Charms in one hand, a corn dog in the other, and you realize there is no one telling you to go to bed. Such liberation. Although perhaps while I was getting hyped up on sugar and watching late-night reruns of the Simpsons, all the cool kids were rebelling and heading to the border in stolen cars. Guess I might be a late bloomer. Regardless, Tijuana, here I come!

Door-to-Door Lies

So I just told a door-to-door salesman that I didn't want to buy any magazine subscriptions tonight because I was trying to cut down on my paper consumption and I read blogs instead of magazines now. That's not completely the truth, as I have 3 shiny new magazines sitting on my coffee table as I write, the result of a delayed flight last week. I felt bad about lying (mildly, anyway), until he told me he has done research into the matter and found that buying excessive amounts of paper products is good because for every 10 trees chopped down, 12 more are planted. I find this hard to believe.

Any thoughts?

Meet Martin

Within hours of getting my new cell phone number in San Diego, I started getting calls for a man named Martin (usually pronounced "Mar-teeeenh" with a thick accent). They don't come too often, maybe 12 calls in the last 4 months, but enough for me to notice and get mildly annoyed. Perhaps the root of my annoyance is that at least half of these calls have been made during the wee hours of the morning.

I always answer, of course, because if someone's calling me past midnight, the caller on the other end usually has something very important to share with me. So I answer, groggily, only to discover someone yelling in my ear "Mar-teeeeeehn... something in Spanish... Mar-teeeeehn... something else in Spanish...." and so on, at which point I tell them they have the wrong number and to pleeeeease tell everyone they know that Martin has fled the country and no longer has this number. I took Martin to be quite the partier.

That is, until this morning, when I learned the truth about Martin.

Martin is/was an immigration officer.

The man who called at 2 am last night asking for Martin called again this morning to explain that his girlfriend got her visa taken away last night at the Mexican border and he was trying desperately to resolve the matter and if I could just please be kind enough to give him Martin's new phone number he wouldn't bother me again. Poor guy. I told him I didn't know who Martin was and wished him luck. Guess I should stop telling people that Martin has fled the country. They might not think that's very funny after all.

A few weeks ago I was telling my boss that I keep getting calls and text messages (in Spanish) for some guy that used to have my number.

"Is it Armando?" he said quickly. "Because I get calls for him all the time and apparently he owes alot of people alot of money." Glad to know I'm not the only one...

P is for Plankton

Do you ever have those moments on the phone when someone asks you to spell back to them your name, address, etc. at which point you have to implement the "A as in Apple," "B as in Bob," etc. technique? Since I spend my days on the phone making appointments for people, I do this all the time. And more often then not, I suffer from something I fondly refer to as "brain freeze". It's when my brain turns into mush, rendering my speech completely useless.

Try as I might, when pressed to use this technique, mishaps abound. Usually I can't think of any words at all, leaving me to stutter about sounding a fool, but on the rare occasion that I find a word, it's usually so obscure as to be laughable.

"Um...that's..."E as in Esophagus", "R as in Retch", "I as in Impertinent", "K as in Kartoffel (German for potato)", "A as in Aspartame"...

And so on.

Or worse, I think of a word only to crack myself up at the inappropriateness of it. There's just never a point in which saying "V as in Vagina" or "B as in Blow job" to your mechanic over the phone is acceptable.

It was especially problematic in Hong Kong, as there was already a bit of a language barrier to begin with. Try as I might to choose simple, easily recognizable words, I usually came up with things like "T as in Tallahassee" or "L as in Lollipop." It never went well.

Surely I'm not the only dingbat who suffers from this right...?






PS It's good to be back.