#3: Street Markets

Overlooking a local market on Fa Yuen Street

I love to shop. I love a bargain. And I do a special little dance when those two loves collide. HK certainly offers the best of both worlds! This city is rampant with street markets, each with it's own unique bargains calling out my name. The one nearest (to my house) and dearest (to my wallet) is Temple Street Night market, just a few blocks down the street. It's a tourist-magnet, but I don't really mind. Sometimes it a real pleasure to mingle with other foreigners and I always get a kick out of watching them bargain for whatever small treasure they have their heart set on buying.

Cheap Stuff

More cheap stuff

The Ladies' Market in Mong Kok is another favorite tourist spot, selling lots of designer knock-off purses, over-priced Rolex wanna-bes, and tons of other useless trinkets. The "shop keepers" in each stall are especially zealous and are very talented at over-charging for their cheaply made goods. If you're feeling brave, the best knock-off stalls will have someone designated to lead you down a dark alley and up several flights of dingy staircases to a purse paradise--usually an apartment off the beaten path lined with shelves and tables full of more genuine looking knock-offs. You're almost always worth much more to them alive and eager to buy purses than mugged and drawing attention to their secret purse-lair, so there's not much danger in it. Oh, except for those Communist police patrolling the area. You need to keep a keen eye out for them. It's taken me awhile to really hone my bargaining technique, but I think I've gotten to the point that I can haggle with the best of them. It felt a bit awkward at first, especially when I would find myself negotiating the price difference of only a dollar or two, but once I came to understand that's its just a game (and to not take part makes you a party-pooper or a complete sucker), I learned to enjoy it.

Chinese Charms

Kittens, Anyone?

In the last year I've really had a good chance to scour the city for the best bargains and I know if I'm being overcharged or not. The best street markets to hit up are those that are primarily frequented by the locals. You always get the best deals, and the starting bids tend to be much lower than at the markets which are notorious tourist hot-spots. At the end of the day, the shopper is happy because they scored a great deal, and the hawker is happy because they just conned you into buying some cheap, Chinese crap. All's well that ends well. (I feel like I should end that with an Amen.)

Statues of Mao at an "antiques" market

Shenzhen

Matt and I took one last trip into Shenzhen (the city in mainland China just across the border from Hong Kong) to do some shopping and spend the last of our Chinese money. Here are some highlights from our day:

A very beautiful day! This is just outside the Lohu mall, notorious for it's knock-off designer handbags and copy DVDs. Kind of ironic to see 2 policemen out front.

Our friend, Adam, paying for a fresh cocount. They chop a hole in the top and hand you a straw. Not bad for $0.75.

SHOES!

This lady from a t-shirt shop insisted on taking my picture. So I took hers in return.

My favorite moment from the day was witnessing this chubby little kid eat an ice-cream and candy treat the size of his head with chopsticks. Priceless!

#4: Cheap Massages

Cheap massages are offered aplenty in HK. You can't walk down the sidewalk without being bombarded by little ladies shouting "Muh-sah-ghee?" and trying their darndest to stuff your pockets full of leaflets advertising the services of the many massage parlors found sandwiched among the stores and restaurants on each block. (If you happen to be a man alone on the town, it's very likely the ladies will whisper the bonus "sexy muh-sah-ghee?" in your ear as you pass them by.)

And if you even show the slightest interest, they will hold on to you for dear life until you give in to their pleas and agree to get a massage. It's always worth it. There is a dodgy, little foot massage joint just across the street from our apartment that I've been to a few times. There are about 6-8 faux leather recliners in a U-shape, each with it's own doily and matching pillow. If you learn to block out the Chinese soap operas playing on the TVs across the room, it can be a really relaxing experience. For only $11, you can get an hour foot/leg massage. It's such a bargain.

Today I went to my favorite Thai massage center, and decided to treat myself to a 90 minute massage. I even opted for the essential oil massage, rather than the usual traditional Thai massage. I knew it would be my last cheap, HK massage for a long time, so I decided it was worth splurging on. (At $40 for 1 1/2 hours, it's still a great deal!) It was also monumental because this was my first nearly-nude massage, the prospect of which left me feeling a little nervous and apprehensive. The lady showed me to a massage booth and then told me to get undressed, left for a moment, but then came right back and handed me tightly wrapped tube of gauze and told me to put it on. "What?", I thought to myself. "You want me to wear that tampon-looking piece of fabric?" I was completely lost for words and getting more and more unsure about going through with the nearly-nude massage, but then she sort-of yanked at my skirt, saw that I was wearing underwear (of course!) and said, "Oh, nevermind, you are already wearing underwear." Um, yeah. Apparently that little piece of gauze was some sort of substitute for underwear, on the off chance that you had left yours at home or misplaced them on the way there.

My thoughts were momentarily flooded with the memory of when I was visiting a new gynecologist shortly after starting college. The nurse had left a robe for me on the chair and told me to get undressed and that the doctor would be in shortly. As any female can understand, those sterile rooms are never a pleasant experience and you want to whole process to be over as soon as earthly possible. So I quickly undressed, picked up the robe, and immediately panicked. Whatever it was that the nurse had left for me to wear, it was most definitely NOT a robe. I stood there momentarily, knowing full well that at any moment the male-gynecologist would knock on the door and discover me ferociously wrangling with this would-be robe. It turned out it was actually a pillowcase the nurse had mistaken for a robe. (Which I discovered only after putting my clothes back on, sneaking out of the examination room, and sheepishly asking the first nurse I could find for instructions on how to put on a pillowcase.) All in all a very unpleasant experience. I guess they say whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. (Whoever "they" is should learn to keep their mouth shut.)

Anyway, once I actually figured out how to properly undress, the rest of the massage was fine. Actually, it was great. It's a shame I've gotten so addicted to cheap massages, since they cost an arm and a leg in the US. (Hmm...maybe if I'm missing an arm and a leg the massage would be half-price. Sorry, the pun just slipped out before I could stop typing.)

If you meet me on the streets of San Diego someday and I seem particularly crabby, you can assume it's because I haven't had a good, cheap massage in awhile.

#5: Public Holidays

With a whopping 17 days in all, Hong Kong has more public holidays than any other country in the world. And with the ridiculous amount of time people in HK spend at work, they certainly deserve a little time off. While it's great to have lots of days off, the real treat is that many of these public holidays include plenty of fun festivities throughout the city.

Here are some of the highlights:

Mid Autum Festival

"Moon Cakes" are eaten during this festival--the egg yolk in the center symbolizes the moon.

Chinese New Year

Red Lanterns cover the city during Chinese New Year

Dragon Boat Festival

Teams from all over the world compete all day in these long "dragon boats"--I think up to 26 people fit in each boat!

10th Anniversary of the Handover of HK to China

The amazing fireworks show as viewed from the top of Matt's office building. (Yes, the fireworks are being shot off the TOP of the buildings near the harbor!)

Many people use the public holidays as a great time to vacate the city and seek calmer abodes, but Matt and I thoroughly enjoyed each holiday and were excited to stay in Hong Kong and enjoy each one as it came along. We sure are gonna miss all these fun holidays!

#6: The Octopus Card

Behold the Octopus Card.

With just a single swipe of this little card, Hong Kong opens itself up you in the most magical of ways. Most people use it as a rechargeable subway token, but the Octopus card can be used for lots of different purposes. You can pay your gas and water bills (at 7-11, no less), hop aboard any bus, train, tram, cable car, or ferry and catch an easy ride, order a McDonald's value meal, buy your groceries, feed a parking meter, indulge in instant noodles from a vending machine, donate money to various charities, and the list goes on and on. And all with just one little swipe. It's such an efficient system! You can even have a chip implanted in your watch or cell phone and rid yourself of needing to carry the card at all.

More than 95% of people in HK have an Octopus card. Heck, Matt and I have 5 of them. (We stocked up to share with friends and family who were in town, as you get a discount on transportation if you use the card.)

It's pure brilliance. The best part is that if you rig the card in your purse properly, you can just haul your purse over the sensor and never need to take out your card at all. I love it! Can't wait 'til the idea/technology hops the pond and finds its way to San Diego.

One of These Things is Not Like the Other

There are days when I feel just like our friend the troll doll. Neither of us are very good at blending in.

#7: Dim Sum, Full of Delights!

Cantonese food is the main staple in this part of China. As much as Matt and I have tried, we give Cantonese food a failing grade. Thai food I love. Inidan food I adore. Vietnamese, Korean, and Japanese food I could happily survive on for the remainder of my days. Mandarin, Szechuan, and Taiwanese food---all good. But, when it comes to the food distinct to the region of Asia we plopped ourselves down in, we just can't stomach it.

EXCEPT FOR DIM SUM!

Dim Sum stands out far above the sticky, saucy mess that is Cantonese food. It's Cantonese perfection, erasing all the gastronomic sins of it's Cantonese food compatriots. In fact, I have a theory that because dim sum is so wonderful, the lovely people of this region stopped working towards perfection of all other dishes, thereby allowing food mediocrity. It's just a theory.

Oh, the magical delights that grace the chopsticks of the lucky dim summer. The meal is served mostly as a brunch or early lunch (no, those are not the same things). It's a rare treat to find it available after 1pm. My favorite dish is "char sui ba" (which I've both misspelled and mispronounced, I'm sure)--a light steamed bun filled with yummy bbq pork. The egg custard balls are fantastic, too. Turnip cakes, Shanghai dumplings, sticky Chicken rice wrapped in lotus leaves, garlicky bok choi cabbage, all washed down with numerous pots of Jasmine tea....YUM!! Oh, and the eggrolls! Marvelous. It's all so good.

If you happen to be passing through HK in the near future, I highly recommend stopping by Maxim's restaurant in the old city hall on the Island--famous for it's old-school dim sum carts, pushed around by slightly disgruntled, older women in marvelous yellow rompers, who lift up the lid of each dim sum steamer for you to choose from as they pass by.

That's it...I'm having it for breakfast!

#8: City Scape

Hong Kong has the most amazing skyline I've ever seen. Mountains, Ocean, Forests--all visible from the harbour. Moving from small-town USA hoping to experience the "big-city" life, Hong Kong certainly delivers.


Now if only they could figure out how to tackle their nasty little pollution problem...

#9: Waffles

I just can't get enough of those tasty waffles the street vendors sell. You can choose from the classic rounded bubble-shaped waffle or the super-gooey flat waffle smothered with peanut butter, margarine, sweetened condensed milk, and extra sugar drizzled on top for good measure. Our favorite stall always has a line, but it's definitely worth the wait. And for a mere $1.25, it's the cheapest heart-attack a cholesterol-enthusiast like me could ask for. Oh, so tasty!

#10: Tiny Spaces

There is no question that HK is a big city comprised of lots and lots and lots of tiny spaces. As a tiny-space dweller myself, I've come to appreciate the continuous creativity and compromise one learns to live with on a daily basis when faced with the task of shoving all of your worldly possessions into a space the size of the average American's bathtub. I think it's a good exercise in materialistic constraint. Actually, I often wonder how a city full of some many people, living in such tiny little boxes could find itself to be one of the world's major shopping meccas. Where people put all their stuff is beyond me. Even though we know we've got a basement full of stuff waiting for us in my mom's house upon our return, our year in HK has been a great lesson on only buying what you need.

The 275 sq ft we call home has served us well, although I do admit I'm looking forward to having a slightly roomier closet in our next home. (The closet Matt and I share now is only 3'x2.5'x4'.) Perhaps the biggest bonus is that when we start to look for an apartment in the notoriously expensive state of California, we'll think paying $1100/month for an 800 sq ft apartment is a true bargain.

But tiny spaces aren't just found at home. Everywhere we go we rub elbows (quite literally) with all sorts of people. The trains are glorified sardine cans. Seats on buses are itty-bitty. And when we go out to eat, Matt and I are often seated next to another couple at a 4-person table. When we first moved here it felt so strange to sit in such close quarters with complete strangers at dinner, but now it seems perfectly natural. And we're seldom speaking the same language as the people next to us, so we're not even distracted by their conversation. The restaurants are small, and they squeeze in the patrons anywhere they can. It's just the way it goes.

I hope I don't too quickly forget what a tiny-space lifestyle feels like and go out and buy lots and lots of stuff I don't need and sit really far away from people in restaurants. I've become accustomed to "rubbing elbows" with strangers.

HK's Top Ten

I realized that in a mere ten days from now, Matt and I will be boarding a plane heading to North America. Only 10 days left in HK! So in honor of this lovely city we've called home for the last year, I'm going to pay homage by giving you the HK's Top Ten over the next 10 days. It begins today. Enjoy!

Harry Potter

Loved every minute of the most recent Harry Potter movie! It was totally worth the inflated movie price (an extra $2/person on opening night!) just to see Dolores Umbridge's litter of kittens.

Rock the Library

In exactly 24 hours from now, I will be leaving the movie theater (having consumed my gigantic bucket of sweet and salty popcorn). The next Harry Potter movie opens in HK tomorrow! Wizard nerds unite!

For all my HP fan friends out there, get yourself psyched up for the movie with a few tunes from the ever popular music ensemble "Harry and the Potters"---oh, I can't help but love the silliness.

Quality Kansas Shoes

As Matt and I were on the elevator going to church yesterday, a British/Australian man (I'm having alot of trouble distinguishing accents these days) struck up a short conversation with us:

Man: So where are you from?
Us: The US
Man: Where in the US?
Us: Kansas, it's in the middle.
[Elevator door opens at our floor]
Man: Oh, Kansas...where all the good shoes come from.
[Elevator door closes, and we are left alone to ponder his last statement.]


What could he have possibly meant? Cowboy Boots? Payless Shoes (since it originated in Topeka, KS)? Huh? Anybody have a clue what our little Brit/Aussie friend could have meant by this? Maybe it was a tactic he uses to appear aloof and elusive. I think the next time I meet someone from New Jersey, I'm going to say "Ah, New Jersey. That's where all the best neckties come from..." And then run away.

Social Networking Gone Askew

Last night while dining out with Matt and our new friend, Hanna, at this tasty Mediterranean restaurant, I happened to mention that I just joined facebook and was very excited to have 37 friends. Further into the conversation I tangled my words a bit and referred to it as "myface," mixing the popular sites myspace and facebook into one word. Suddenly we spawned this fantastic idea that myface.com should be the social networking community for the elderly. Old people are always messing up their references anyway, right? So this way they could impress their grandkids by saying, "Junior, I just joined myface! I'm hip hop, too, now!" It would be the hottest online geriatric destination, with a tagline of "my face used to look like this [insert handsome highschool pic from 50 years prior], but now it looks like this [insert present day pic]." We think it would really take off.

Perhaps you just had to be there.

Regardless, I dragged you, my lovely readers, through this story just to say that when I got home and hopped online to see if myface.com really exists, it does. And it looks like it's a site for vampires. Socially-networking vampires. Check out this picture from the homepage:


Clearly those people are vampires. Perhaps they sprinkle in a few normal people in the photo as a way to lure unsuspecting victims, but they two in front are most certainly vampires. Ok, enough shenanigans.

Now You Are Fat

From what I can tell HKers don't obsess over weight like Americans do. I've met lots of people here who have nicknames based around their weight. A guy I used to work with at the flower shop happened to have the same name as another employee. So he was dubbed "Fat Boy" instead of using his real name. He volunteered it. He said that's what his mom calls him. At Matt's office Christmas party this year, they had a gift exchange. Matt got a book. The receptionist (who happened to be a little chubby) got fat cream. Apparently it's not that big of a deal to be fat here.

Which I guess is why one of the salesmen at a shop I frequent felt completely comfortable telling me I was fat. He said the very first time he met me, I was very skinny, but now I am fat. Instead of bursting into tears, I laughed it off and told him I'd eaten nothing but pizza the last two weeks (which isn't far from the truth considering we're in the midst of moving and our refrigerator is empty). Perhaps what he doesn't realize is that the first time he met me was about 2 months into our HK adventure, at which point I was only eating Skittles and baby-carrots because everything else made me want to throw up. (Surely I've mentioned my drastic food aversions, right?)

But it was still a blow to my ego. Because I am an American, and I am weight conscious and I've been feeling a wee bit tubby these last few weeks.

This little conversation stirred up unpleasant memories of the time I was trying explain to an itty-bitty Asian shop girl that I would not be buying the size 25 jeans she was pushing on me because (clearly) they would not fit me. As I made gestures to my general hip and thigh area and mumbled something about American girls being made differently, she perked up and said,

"Oh, you have baby?!"

No, Lady, I have not had a baby. I just look like this. Boy, these people sure know how to flatter a girl.

I know that I'm REALLY going to miss living in Hong Kong, but I am looking forward to feeling "normal-sized" again. Perhaps even a little on the small side.

Not to mention that my first order of business when arriving on American soil again is to put on 10 pounds. Ten pounds of pure Mexican food. Oh, I can't wait!

Tasty Squid Legs

I keep mentioning squid legs on my blog, but I don't think I've ever posted any real footage. So here they are in all their glory. Took these photos last night in Mong Kok near a night market. It's so funny to see a cute Asian girl in her little highheels and mini-skirt chowing down on a squid kebab. It requires quite a bit of chewing since they're so rubbery. It kinda makes my stomach do sommersaults. Mmmmmm.....so, err...tasty?

Some Answers

Alright, so perhaps I do have a bit of a flair for the dramatic. I wasn't named Buhler High School's "Most Active Thespian of 1997" for nothing. Maybe I felt my crabby rangoon ratings were down, the comments hadn't been what I'd hoped for recently. Regardless, there it is. That big, shocking announcement that my husband has, indeed, quit his job. It's true. Sure got you talking, didn't it?

We have a back-up plan, of course, but it was good to hear from all of you (me being the comment whore that I am), and Wow! thanks to everyone who wanted us to move where they are. After a year of relative isolation, it was nice to hear how many people know and love us back home in the states. Really, thanks to everyone--you made us feel great!

So here's our next step:

We're moving to SAN DIEGO, CA!!!

Matt is joining forces with a college buddy of his who started a web design company last year. It has been a long few weeks in the Kirkland household as we carefully (and prayerfully) considered our next move. And we're very, very excited to be moving to California! Granted, it takes us down a couple of notches on the cool factor by demoting ourselves from Hong Kong to San Diego, but we're ready to face any challenges a sudden onset of nerdiness might throw at us. (To be perfectly honest, we're really just in it for the Mexican food.)

And our time frame, you ask? Well, we're hoping to be back on American soil in about 1 month. Yikes!! We have so much to do! Oh, but what a sweet relief it will be to communicate with people again, and to stretch my arms on the street and not knock 30 people over. (I was having some serious elbow issues yesterday. Note to self: Never ponder something momentarily on the streets of Hong Kong with your hand on your hips and your elbows sticking out. This is a SERIOUS recipe for disaster.)

So my biggest question to all you good folks out there...will you still read my blog if I'm no longer living somewhere wildly exotic? I promise that I'll still be clumsy and have awkward conversations with strangers and create many a conundrum for myself. I'm a natural at that. And let me tell you, San Diego is sure to be just as daunting and mysterious to me as Hong Kong has been (minus the squid legs). I imagine I'll encounter some mighty culture shock on my re-entry into the USA. I haven't seen a cowboy in ages. Or driven a car. Or tried to get a real job. This could get interesting...


We'll keep you posted about when and where we'll be landing on American soil. Thanks again for all the great emails and comments these last few days.

The End?

Sooooo, my husband quit his job today. Any suggestions on what we should do next?

On Being Chinesey

I know this will sound ridiculous, but sometimes I'm amazed at how "Chinese-y" this city is. Of course it's in China, hence the Chinesey-ness, but when you're in the midst of this city and it's full of people bustling about, taxis swerving in and out of traffic, and really, REALLY tall buildings all about, it's easy to forget that this mecca of international finance and world commerce happens to be located in China. But then I wander past a corner snack stand selling fried octopus legs and stinky tofu and it all comes flooding back to me. I live in China. Period. And it's very, very Chinesy here.

It's completely normal to pass a parked truck full of squids--live ones, at that--and to see the frazzled delivery guy snatch an escaping one up off the dirty street by it's tentacles and plunk it right back into the crates, dashing all it's hopes of ever seeing the ocean again. There's no doubt the local restaurants serve fresh seafood.

A fisherman selling his catches of the day.
Take a close look at what's lying next to his feet.
Yikes!

A local seafood joint specializing in this long, eel-like
ocean creature. I have no idea what it is.
Matt calls it a Luck Dragon.
(The heads are always missing.)

Our particular neighborhood has quite a "local" vibe to it and the Chinesey-ness is hard to miss. It's when I'm (window) shopping in the more upscale parts of town or running errands out and about that I momentarily forget where I am. But then, bam!, I almost get run over by a shirtless man on a bike full of dead chickens, and it all comes rushing back to me. I live in China. It's a strange experience every time it happens.

Hong Kong is both a fishing village and an emerging financial powerhouse. It is a city of such phenomenal contrast. And to see those forces collide everyday makes me believe there's no other city like it in the whole world. It's really incredible. And, yes, it's very, very Chinese-y.

Introducing: The Tilted Tulip

Just a quick message to let all you good folks out there on the world-wide-web know that I (finally!) got my act together and started an online craft store on Etsy.com. Thanks, Matt, for giving me a proper kick in the pants.

You can buy everything I made at:

www.thetiltedtulip.etsy.com



I'll be adding more items over the next few days, and I'd love any feedback (good or bad) you might have to offer. So, what are you waiting for?!? Let's go shopping!

Hair Raising

Before

I've always admired women who have the fortitude to wear their long hair down on hot, steamy days. I rarely have the patience. I know that regardless of how long I spend primping, curling, or straigtening my hair, the minute I step outside into the sunlight, it goes right up into a ponytail. In Hong Kong especially, the women always wear their hair down, so every now and then I make a determined effort to do the same. If they can do it, why can't I? Today was one off those days. Moments ago I walked into our apartment, took a quick look in the mirror, and nearly screamed in fright at the fuzzy rat's nest that had settled on my head over the past few hours. Why do I torture myself? I've just got to admit that I'm not one of those women who can look fresh as a daisy in any situation.

After*

Oh, today I did, however, discover an efficient way to keep the crowds at bay in the busy subway and on the streets. Neglecting to put deoderant on in the morning works like a charm. Have no fear, my lovely readers, tonight I will definitely be taking a shower.



*Professional reenactment. Do not attempt this at home.

Lazy Weekend

It rained all weekend so Matt and I stayed indoors and lazed about the apartment and happily wallowed in a mess of cookie crumbs, cat hair, taco salad, and scrabble pieces for two straight days. It was heavenly.

I beat Matt soundly.

We broke down and bought all our favorite taco salad fixings at the expensive Western grocery store in our neighborhood. Oh, except for the fabulous Mama Lupe Tortillas, which came hand delivered last week all the way from Moundridge, KS (Thanks, Mom! Oh, and Brad and Amy!).

And just when we thought we were too bored to stay indoors a minute longer, Quincy began a little dance routine for us. It was riveting.

PS Sorry about the cat video. Really I am. I know you will never have those 27 seconds back again. I promise to curb my enthusiasm for lame cat videos. Um, for at least a month. Or so.

On Being Useful

Tonight Matt looked down at the cat sitting peacefully on his chest and said:

"Quincy, I wish we could teach you how to be useful. It sure would be helpful if you could hold my beer."

I hope this isn't any indication of what "useful" things he might someday try to teach our children.

Blik of an Eye

I always meant to show this off. For Christmas every year, on top of the normal gifts, Matt's parents graciously offer to splurge on one gift per kid/couple. Matt and I ask usually ask for something frivilous and artsy that we would love to own but probably wouldn't shell out the cash for ourselves. This year we asked for a set of Blik wall graphics. They offer a really unique way to spruce our tiny living space filled with colorless, concrete walls (meaning no pictures can be hung). We were thrilled to put ours up. Here's a little glance at what we chose:

(There's my husband in all his bearded glory)

And a close up:

I just LOVE them. Really help to brighten up the place and bring a little county life into the dreariness of big city living. Thanks so much, Doug and Angie!



PS Last year we chose this beautiful little lamp. Wish we had it with us in Hong Kong.

Helter Swelter

It's so hot.

I've been dreading the onslaught of the summer heat and humidity ever since we moved here and it's finally reached the boiling point. It's the kind of suffocating heat that makes my glasses fog up every time I leave the confines of an air conditioned building and step outside. I'm just miserably sticky all the time. And for a girl who doesn't like to shower, this is pure torture. (Um, I guess I've probably never mentioned before that I don't like to shower. Once I'm actually clean again, I feel great, but there is always some sort of mental road block that keeps me from showering as often as I should. And I really, really prefer to sleep in. Maybe I should have kept that little secret of mine under wraps. Oh well. You know how this blog-thing of mine makes me eager to reveal humiliating bits and pieces of my everyday behavior.)

It's just so icky, sticky outside. Some days it just makes me crabby. But usually it just makes me thirsty. Good thing there are more than 400 7-11s in this city. Practically one on every corner. Too bad the slushy machine craze hasn't made it across the pond yet.


In other news, my very funny mother sent me this brilliant hat to go with my eye patch. She's such a hoot!




Also, we had a GREAT time with Brad and Amy last week. They are moving to Santiago, Chile in just over a week to begin their own international adventures. Can't wait to visit them!



And wherever you are right now, breath in some cool, stale air-conditioned air and think of me.

Oops

It could have been the classic set-up for some serious wailing and gnashing of teeth, but conveniently BOTH of us forgot today was our anniversary. Our 4th anniversary, to be exact.


Let me explain.

Our bestest friends in the whole wide world are landing on Chinese soil in just a few short hours. Matt and I had already agreed to officially celebrate after they leave next week. Needless to say we were a bit distracted today in anticipation of their visit. But regardless, we're both pitiful. Good thing we love each other so much. We treat everyday like our anniversary.

So, Happy Anniversary to the Dingbats who forgot their own anniversary:

A Big Ol' ThankYou

Thanks to all my loyal readers out there. Your support and advice for my goobered eye came rolling in from all corners of the world wide web, and for that I am grateful. I bypassed a trip to the doctor after all and am feeling good about my decision. I took heart in the words from my personal nurse (my mother) who told me to "quit overreacting" or "stop being so tragic." [The actual words were written in German so a bit of the meaning lost in translation, but I think you get the point.]
So again, thank you all for your kind words. I know I'm on the road to recovery.

Dr Google

This morning I woke up with this on my eyeball:



YIKES! Freaked me out, let me tell you. In fact, as I write this post, I'm having trouble looking at it. Need to write alot and quickly so the picture scoots up the page and I can stop staring at it. Oh, so gross.










Ok, that's better. [I very much doubt that when I actually post this sucker my little joke is going to translate onto the actual blog page, but whatever. For what it's worth, the image is no longer visible on the page I'm working on, and I'm in charge here and I say the joke stays.]

After flipping out for a few minutes (which including some high-pitched shrieking and dancing around, in between bouts of near fainting spells 'caused by looking at my little bloody eyeball patch which I sadistically couldn't keep from staring at even though it nearly made me collapse each time), my bleary-eyed husband (ha! he was bleary-eyed and I was bloody-eyed) stumbled out of bed and went straight to the computer to look up my symptoms (after looking at my eye first, of course).*

I'd never seen anything like this before in my life, especially not on my set of eyeballs. I just woke up with it. Weird. I immediately called my boss and told her I would be a little late to work, made my husband pull out the map and find the nearest hospital, and then I set about to self-diagnose myself.

We think I have this.

We eventually came to the conclusion that I was not dying, nor had a brain hemorrhage, nor did I need an immediate emergency eyeball transplant. I just needed to wait for it to go away. It doesn't affect my eyesight and I'm not in pain, so no big deal. I think. I did try several times today to go see my doctor, but he wasn't available. I might go tomorrow.

I sound very sane now, which is a good thing, but usually I give myself a MUCH, MUCH bleaker outlook. Which brings me to a little confession. I LOVE to roam the internet world anytime I feel even the slightest bit ill, scouring google for the answers to what ails me. Most of the time my diagnoses are terrible. (Oh, I can't believe I'm admitting this all to you folks on the world wide web, but keeping a blog somehow makes you want to be brutally and humiliatingly honest. It's a curse.) Over the years I've been one very sick girl, virtually speaking. This afternoon I delved a little deeper into my symptoms and, for about 5 minutes, was pretty sure I had bleeding peptic ulcers, the kind with few noticeable symptoms. I know it's a bit of a stretch to go from bleeding eyeballs to ulcers, but with google anything is possible. Perhaps the worst example was when I once decided the pain in my neck was a sure sign I had bacterial meningitis, when in reality I just needed a new pillow.

They aren't kidding when they tell you the internet is dangerous. One of these days I really will contract some crazy disease, realize the truth after an appointment with Dr Google, second-guess myself and think maybe I'm actually fine, and then wake up dead. You'll all be so sorry then, won't you?









*The most parentheses I've ever used in 1 sentence, and quite possibly my whole life. Sorry.

Ding Dong

Growing up my mom never let us make phone calls after 10pm at night. Or answer them. She just didn't think it was proper to call that late. I don't blame her. She did have 4 daughters, after all. It's likely with several teenagers and a couple of tweens in the house at once, the phone lines are bound to be tied up. To this day I'm still paranoid about calling people after 10pm--even if I know them to be night owls. And I would definitely never dream of knocking on someone's door that late. Well, unless they were expecting me, or if it were an emergency, or if there was going to be a beauty pageant starting shortly on some obscure cable channel and I had stupidly cancelled our cable package a few months earlier. (That's never actually happened, but it's got the potential to occur sometime during my life time. I have ever told you how much I love pageants? Um, of course I have.)

So when we get a knock on our door at 10:26pm on Sunday night (a sacred-never-leave-the- house- except-to-go-to- church-kind- of-day, according to my mother) it's a bit unusual. Not too mention that we don't really know many people in this city, so who could it be?!

It's the cable guy, of course. This is the third late-night house call we've gotten in a couple of months. I know that Hong Kong is an all-hours kind of city, but seriously, folks, who wants to upgrade their internet/cable service at 10:45 at night? Usually the conversation is pretty quick because a) we don't speak Cantonese, b) we don't have a TV, and c) we don't have a phone line. It's all over in a minute or two and Mr or Ms Cable-Guy is off to ding-dong our neighbors. But still, it's weird huh? Maybe there are only a few reps to cover the whole city and 7 million people can't be reached between the hours of 8-5. Or maybe word got out that we don't have a TV, so they keep sending reps at odd hours of the night in hopes of pulling off an intervention. It's still a shocker to the locals when I tell them we don't own a television. Who knows.

Sometimes this city just baffles me.

CPK

Last week TGI Fridays, this week Californial Pizza Kitchen. I think I could get used to this. I think I could also get fat. Don't know why most of my posts are about food. Maybe it's because I'm ALWAYS hungry.

T.G.I. Fantastic

A few night ago Matt and I went to TGI Friday's (yes, there is a TGI Friday's in HK) to celebrate our 9 month anniversary of moving to HK. Actually, before going, we debated whether or not we've been living here long enough to justify a trip to one of the most ridiculous bits of "Americana" found in HK. We decided we had. We were both craving American food too much to resist. It wasn't until after we sat down that we realized we'd been living here for 9 whole months. Wow. Time flies!

So far, so good. This city has treated us well. It hasn't always been a piece of cake [on a complete unrelated side note---some of my Chinese co-workers don't understand much of what I say, so when I speak, I speak very slowly and clearly, using simple English. The other day I tried to explain what it means to say something is a "piece of cake"--it was a disaster. First I tried to explain the word cake, which is impossible to do unless you try to explain other weird words like flour or muffin, or something similar. I think they thought I was an idiot...] living here, but I'm definitely not regretting the move whatsoever.

The only thing that is noticeably missing from our lives are alot of friends. Don't get me wrong, we've met some wonderful people here and are in the process of forging great friendships, but it's a slow process. I'm such a social person that it's been weird for me to not have a full list of girls to go shopping with or hang out with at any given moment. Even friendships with co-workers don't happen quickly. (Part of that is because of the aforementioned language barrier.) Often I just feel like an awkward foreign-exchange student who can't speak the language and doesn't know how to respond to cultural differences, when deep down inside I know I'm a social-caterpillar just waiting to blossom into a butterfly. Honestly, guys, I'm cool! Look at me! Please hang out with me. Errr...Nevermind.

But like I said, we're working on that. I just hope that my new HK friends don't read this and decide that I'm too big of a nerd to hang out with.

Anyway--I didn't mean for this to escalate the way it did. Mostly I just wanted to mention that I went to TGI Friday's and tell you that even though I went there, it doesn't mean I'm one of those silly Americans who craves ridiculous American food like potato chips, macaroni and cheese, nachos, corn dogs, etc. all the time. Those people are just not cool.

Cat-ittude

Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to take my cat to the vet in a large grocery bag on wheels? Well, it didn't work.

Filler

I'm just writing this post as a filler so that my crabby rangoon homepage fills up and I don't see that Chicken Fried Steak taunting me from a few posts below every time I login. The more I write, the sooner it will pop off into the oblivion of the next page. Oh, it makes me sooooo hungry.

Skates and Popcorn

Today the subway smelled just like a skating rink---like sweaty bodies, popcorn, and jolly ranchers. I can account for the sweaty bodies, but I'm not sure where the popcorn and candy smells originated. I'm sure it would be a janitor's worst nightmare, but being able to buy popcorn in the subway would be fantastic! Especially if it tasted like what you get at the movie theaters. I have to admit that I'm the kind of person who will splurge and go see a movie, just so I can sit in the theater and munch on warm, tasty, salty, buttery magnificence. At most HK theaters, they sell salty and sweet popcorn (the sweet is kind of like a mix between kettle corn and carmel corn), and they even let you order a mixed bag of both. Oh, it's delightful. Who knew Asians were such popcorn practitioners? On a related note, I don't think I've eaten a jolly rancher in several years. How can that be?

And I digress. Sorry it's been 11 days since I last wrote. I'm back and more full of nonsense than ever.

Back in the HKSAR

Matt and I made it safe and sound back to Hong Kong yesterday. We were meant to arrive on Tuesday night, but ended up spending the night in Tokyo after missing our connecting flight. Six hours into our Detroit-Tokyo flight, the captain announced we would be making a short stop in Anchorage, Alaska. Within minutes of landing, two armed police men boarded the plane to arrest a man sitting one row behind us. It was weird. My instant reaction was to internally curse Homeland Security--I just can't help myself. Matt suggested the man might have snuck 4 oz. of liquid on board, blatantly ignoring the 3 oz. liquid/gel/toothpaste/deoderant/complete nonsense rule. Regardless of his supposed crime, I felt pretty sorry for the guy. Who knows how long he'll be stuck in Alaska.

Rumors circulated later that he'd had some sort of altercation with one of the female flight attendants, but who knows. Matt and I got some flight vouchers, a 1 night stay at the Raddison, and a couple of trips to the buffet out the deal. Not bad, all in all. I'm a total sucker for free food.

For those of you we saw during our trip, we miss you already. And for those of you we didn't see this time around, we still miss you.

On the Road Again

The biddy old lady at the gas station register in Boonville, Missouri did not like the looks of us. I don't know if it was my new white plastic superhero glasses and matt's black skinny jeans ("girl jeans" as his little sister calls them), or perhaps it was because we kept buying $1 lottery tickets and losing, or maybe she was peeved that Matt used the women's restroom because the line for the men's room was under siege by a group of geriatrics---Regardless, to her we were "out-off-towners" and she wasn't having it. She had an utter look of disdain strewn on her face from the moment we walked into her little slice of heaven to the moment we waltzed out of her life forever. I'm usually good at charming the locals, but I think maybe I've been gone too long--the big city has gotten in my blood, I suppose. Didn't stop us from heading half a mile down the road to get ourselves a couple of corndogs at Sonic. Now that's what I call a little slice of heaven in Boonville, Mo.

Super-Sized

Matt and I are having a fantastic time on our tour of the Mid-West. I've been enjoying the unseasonably cold weather and the wide open spaces. Oh, and the fresh air is nice, too. And boy have we eaten ALOT of tasty food. We're calling it our "Fat American Food Tour." We're indulging every ridiculous food craving we encounter, knowing that soon enough we'll be back in the land of chopsticks and rice. I'm very happy to report that I got my very own Chili's Chicken Fried Steak within hours of landing on American soil. Mmmmmm.....so tasty. And breakfast. We've eaten ALOT of breakfast food. Eating all this food should be illegal. Those teeny-tiny airplane seats will seem even more daunting now that we've been super-sized, but it's all been worth it.

Breezy Business

There's nothing quite so awkward as climbing over someone in those itty bitty airplane seats only to hear a large ripping noise and to suddenly realize that the breeze you're feeling isn't coming from the fan above, but rather from the fresh hole in the seat of your pants, my pants specifically. Somehow I'd manage to catch the pocket of my favorite pair of green cargo pants (which had admittedly seen better days prior to this most unfortunate incident) on the corner of the arm rest as I clambered back to my seat. Fortunately for me it was Matt I was climbing over, not a stranger. Of course I thought of packing an extra pair of socks and undies should retrieving our luggage fail to coincide with our arrival in Kansas City, but an extra pair of pants was not something I had planned for. But after some quick maneuvering and the assistance of the nearest flight attendant (who most certainly was from the Dallas area based on the number of times she called me "hon"), I patched up my new breezy bits with a bit of masking tape and a whole lot of finesse. Glad I have a proper reason to do some serious shopping now.

Happy Easter!

Meet and Greet

To anyone who might have been missed on the email invite, I'm sorry you got skipped. One of our friends is hosting a "howdy-do" for Matt and I this weekend, so if you want details, shoot us an email and we'll send them out to you pronto. I would just publish all the info right here on this blog but I thought I'd best not do that just in case any of you internet crazies out there get the idea into your hair-brained heads to crash our little shindig. Don't mind the Kansas twang in my voice--I'm just gearing up to be with my people again. Less than 36 hours 'til we depart the Far East...